A Month and a Half Later

I GOT A JOB!!!!

Felt like I should start off with that. But most importantly I'm still working on The Mystic Mollusk. The shop. The big idea. Pretty stickers, prints, and other cool goodies and art :)

So far I enjoy my new part-time job at a public library. Part-time is allowing me to work on TMM at home, take care of myself, and not be so burned out. Already it has been rewarding helping Patrons. The public.

People.

Basically, I sit with them and walk them through their computer-related questions. They already think I'm a MASTERMIND, a wizard. And they keep me in their mind for the person to go to next time they come in and that means a lot. I miss helping and connecting with people like this.

Note: most of these Patrons I've helped are old. I use a lot of patience with them - the world is going nuts with all this technology there is no PAPERwork anymore. Everything. Digital. And I don't blame them. And I'm happy to help.

Aside from that relieving news, here's to list of all my accomplishments since that last post when I was just starting my unemployment journey:

• Start a Ko-Fi shop :D

• 2 year anniversary (ily boo)

• Gained 30+ new followers on Instagram

• Made cool art for my original stories

• Wearing my elf ears in certain public spaces

• Having venues in mind to have fun and feel a sense of belonging

• Went to more raves living it up

• One commission $$

• One sticker sale $$

• Mental health care

• Chillin' part-time job at the library

• Read an awesome book called The M!ddle Fing#r Pr*ject

• Did my taxes on TurboTax for FREEEEEEEE

The Mystic Mollusk

Check out my new shop!!!

The brand is taking shape!

Really, I'm super hype for what's to come. And proud of myself for finding the vibe.

After a lot of research, watching freelancers YouTube their progress, giving tips, all that sht, I decided I should draw what the fk I want. Draw what the fk I like.

But the aesthetic I figured out was mostly fantasy. I write my own stories, design my own OC's, and I'm just a big fan of storytelling in general. Movies, books, TV series. Take me out of this world into another type of thing. The Mystic of the title.

Also I just enjoy the vibe of raves and club nights. Smoking weed makes me more creative but I don't rely on it - it's a social, afternoon and weekend ritual. Whenever I have great ideas when I'm out and about, or in the spiral, I write them down and get back to them the next day :)

Now for the mollusk of the title, obviously, the brand revolves around the snail as a mascot. A magical snail. If you refer to my first blog post you'll learn the story about B.B - a snail I took care of for a couple months found on the sidewalk alone.

Since then I've grown connected to snails. Weird ik. But they're small. Have a shell. And they're slow. Sometimes I can work fast but my overall process I take my time with. Spiraling thoughts every damn day. Just taking my time.

I use Ko-Fi for the shop even though I have this site... and dude... this platform is super anxiety friendly and perfect for me.

Just to start tho! If I grow I'll relocate to Wix or even Etsy. (Besides its a side-gig for now.)

On Ko-Fi I can post my products. Post tiny blogs. Upload commissions. And accept tips/donations which I call Choccy Milk - my prefered magical elixir.

So yeah! Shops live <3 I'm also checking out books from the libraries doing research on online businesses/side gigs. Pretty much the big challenge is marketing myself.. which requires time on social media and putting myself out there.

And that requires energy xux and badass confidence.

Mental Health

I'll talk a little bit about my mental health. After today I learned a list of ... stuff I have. Defects. Issues. Quirks. Whatever you wanna call it.

So the doctor and I came to agree my anxiety is the biggest thing to care for now.

Anxiety scares the shit outta you. And it scared the shit outta me the past couple of years to stick with something that stabilizes me, to hesitate to post and share anything, to interact with humans, and to hesitate to follow what I want to do.

After quitting my super stressful previous job I enjoyed the fk out of drawing every day. It was so freeing. I thought I would get burned out. But if did, I had other nice alternatives:

• taking walks

• playing Palia

• Read books

• jigsaw puzzles

• write my stories / journal

But also after that absence of working, of HAVING to interact with people, it felt a little weird to be out in public. I didn't go out much on my own and if I did it was to the library or in town for a walk for some window shopping and a tasty mint frappe.

My doctor agreed I should increase my exposure (o my 😯 ). To get comfortable being around all types of people. The library enables me to work. 9 times out of 10 people leave me alone (unless its to compliment on my lucious orange locks). And my favorite places for a fun Friday / Saturday night enable me to belong. Nights with our friends enable me to be myself, to get to know each other, and not be a stranger.

Another thing I learned is something called Somatic Symptoms. Basically my body reacts sick and stressed before going into a stressful situation. Like a meeting. Like being on stage. Or taking a test - and DUDE I HATE TAKING TESTS NOW!!! I did one for a job and I was super anxious, edgy af. Worst of all... it was timed.

Another is ADD/ADHD. I've suspected I had it for a while but after actually hearing it it felt weird. Because back in school I was a good student. I submitted things on time, did good on tests, wasn't an annoying pos in class. But I was shy.

Now I feel like I'm a terrible test taker. My focus has been drifty. Head in the dang clouds. I've been fidgety. Forgetful. Within a montage of thoughts and scenes playing in my head.

I was also a huge daydreamer as a kid. But now as an adult, all of this stuff is getting in the way. People talk to me and I have to ask "wait what? sorry". I work on a paper or artwork and suddenly I'm playing 2 hours of Palia or cleaning the house. Having panic spells before going into a room full of strangers.

So yep. Theres a fking party in my brain. The best I can do is take my time and care for myself - give me the rest I need, food, journaling. Therapy. Sunlight. And man I am SO HAPPY its spring ☀

Ending thoughts 🐌

So its looking pretty gooooood :) I'll try my best to keep posting more updates. With the mental health stuff, you see, I'm a private person. Yet I feel like I want to share more indepth what's going on so other aspiring artists with anxiety can feel less alone. On top of researching for my brand I've been researching for myself. To understand how to take care of myself and making sense of certain behaviors.

Though I have LOTS of projects I want to do, there's no rush. Especially since I'm just getting started. I'm sure once I get in the flow of things it will be easy. First steps are always a little wobbly so its best to take your time. Find what works for you.

Fr... LOTS OF IDEAS - STICKERS, JOURNALS, BOOKMARKS, RESIN SNAILS, AAAA--

Until then, I'll be taking care of myself and doing what I love <3