Surviving Week 1 of Freelancing: Finding Balance and Getting Crafty 🎨
- Krimmu
- Feb 11, 2024
- 7 min read
Updated: May 20, 2024
Survived week 1. Sleep has been a little rough with racing thoughts and itching apart my winter dry skin... but other than that I've been VERY creatively productive!
A quick breakdown of the situation: I recently quit my job for my mental health. But I also needed to make this step to achieve the creative goals I want to reach. So I'm aiming to work on my crafts while searching for part-time job to create a healthy work-life balance.
Here are my achievements for week 1:
sketched every day using Pinterest references
designed new snail stickers 🐌
touched up on my dog-orc (Borc) sticker design
prototyped, designed, and printed my mystery sticker packaging
prototyped journals
created a sigil design for my journal covers
brainstormed a new story idea
illustrated an OC portrait, animated it in After Effects, and uploaded it to Insta.
printed and cut updated version of snailfrog stickers
Super happy!
When I was employed at my previous job I felt like I had no bandwidth to get projects done. I come home drained. I found comfort in writing because it was easier. I struggled with drawing as if I forgot how.
Guys... practicing is so important. I retrained myself, disciplined myself to keep drawing for at least an hour but not "perfect" it. Felt like everything I drew had to be DONE.
Here are my sketches I did throughout the week, using Pinterest as references, and adding my own little goofy twist to them:
I felt productive and proud, but most importantly I felt very content in my office. I felt comfortable working at my pace, being surrounded by all the things I love; my books, my tapestries, playing my music. Whenever I sat in there after a long day of work, I've always thought to myself "man, I just want to have more time in here."
It was really nice to parallel play too, working on my art while my boyfriend shooting up zombies in the other side of the room 🧟♂️
The New Schedule
My boyfriend was also home most the week, and he helped me compose a schedule using Trello. We used this week to train to stick with it. I wake up around nine, eat breakfast, exercise for ten minutes, work on my art until noon, have an hour break, and go back to work until five. ("Work" also included doom-scrolling on job sites and applying to real work...)
I followed the schedule perfectly on one day only, which I will use as a framework to what I'd like my ideal day to be. We did morning yoga and spent the hour break taking a skate downtown and having lunch outside.
It's crazy- the weather here was in the mid-50s... in FEBRUARY!!!! Now we are back in the low 20's. I refuse this weather :(
Yoga is difficult for me. Trying to follow the video causes me more stress, struggling and shaking staying in these positions. I'm not great at meditating either with my racing thoughts. So instead, I'm going to try five-minute dancing videos and choreography for my morning exercise. I love music, and I love to dance. Might as well - gives me practice for the next rave I go to!
The "spells"
Although I was happy with this new beginning, my body started to feel the "spells". I don't like to call them anxiety attacks, that just... sounds scarier to me.
Out of no where my heart starts to race as if I went for a jog. My throat closes up. My shoulders feel heavy. My head spins, feeling fuzzy. Racing, intrusive thoughts. And note... I'm not even smoking or drinking.
Feels like someone spooked me, hearing final boss music but there are no enemies around.
These spells usually last an hour and I feel super drained. Weak. Lazy. And pretty scared.
My comfort spot is curled up in the corner of the couch with blankets and plushies, zoning out, trying to focus on my breathing or whatever's on TV. Although a walk would help I feel lazy and anxious thinking about leaving the apartment.
I was relieved my boyfriend was home most of the week. Back rubs definitely help when it comes from another person 😂 but just his presence alone helped immensely. Monday, the first day of unemployment, was rough. I had a stronger spell, one that I felt doomed, scared, and crashed. I don't remember exactly why, but it was near the end of my work and I felt scared, wanting him to come home and check on me before he went and do an errand.
But man, this sucks. It feels embarrassing to rely on others for my health. My safety and happiness. I'm lucky he's patient and very good to me. I've lived alone before and I was fine. But maybe it was because how my life was at the time, focusing on school, had a stable part-time job and hobby. Now I'm an adult, who worked in an uncomfortable work environment, living with my partner alone, and questioning why after two years I'm not in my dream job. Why don't they want meee?!?! :( More things to silently worry about. To do a good job. I just didn't expect the worrying would strike me physically, throwing punches at my throat and chest out of no where...
Ouch.
Being rejected... again :(
Two months ago I was researching freelance copywriting as another creative option for me. I found this group called Write Your Way To Freedom and I was interested in joining. Unfortunately, I'd be living paycheck by paycheck if I paid the tuition. They held a free one-hour workshop this week, where the founder Sarah Turner presented a little crash-course on what copywriting is, how much you can make, what you will do, and if you will like it. The workshop was more than enough for me, generating ideas for my own product descriptions!
It felt like a huge silly jump from art to writing. I enjoy to write. I thought it would be a good addition to my creative services I have to offer. But also... I was in a spot where I just wanted to find a comfortable situation for myself. This WYWTF, and all these other copywriting groups made it seem so sexy. Staying home, in PJ's, writing for places you love. Just typing typing away and getting paid.
So I hunted for writing jobs. For almost two weeks I was tackling a test task for an exciting job opportunity to be a writer for a mobile game. Dude... I put my blood sweat and tears getting this done. I worked on it in the writer group too, pretty much tossing aside my original stories.
I really wanted this job...
That Wednesday morning I woke up to an email saying my writing was not suitable for the project. And I cried.
I was rejected. AGAIN.
Everyone was saying "you'll get it" and I didn't want to believe it because I've been rejected before this same way applying to creative jobs, after an interview that seemed to go well and finishing a test project.
It was a huge bummer. That morning my boyfriend and I tried yoga but I was under so much stress of not only the rejection but trying to follow the lady on the TV. We went for a walk later and I did some thinking about the positive sides of this rejection.
I'll have more time to work on my own writing. This year I would want to finish an unedited manuscript of my Xavaria novel. Finish a script for Obsidian. Something.
But honestly, I'm anxious thinking about it since I have a lot of things I want to do. The plate feels full, like a game of Sandwich Stackers, where if I catch one goop everything falls 😵💫
Omg will I make it :( ?
So yeah, also this week I faced some anxiety. Questioning my life. Questioning my freelance My dreams. "Will it work? Will I make money? Can I be like these people on YouTube working full-time in my home-office making cool sh*t?"
I've had episodes where I spaced out and cried, remembering I have student loans to pay at the end of the year. Imagining myself flunking an interview with my stuttering and shaking.
Asking myself will I ever feel normal? Feel that awesome energy to get sh*t done? The confidence?
This week I finally met with a PA and I'm getting the help I need. Honestly, I wish I've did this years ago. So I hope with what I'm given I can get my life together.
And I hope I get a job before March...
Hope?! (Thx Emo Nite)
So when Friday night approached, we were looking forward to going to Detroit to attend our first EMO NIGHT 🤘🤘🤘
Dude, it was such a great fu*king time. I felt like I found my paradise. I got to dress however I fu*king wanted, listen to nostalgic punk rock, and get in crazy mosh pits. We met some cool people too, a potential tribe! We also stuck up some snailfrogs around the building!
But also... there were the vendors.
Artists who love to craft, to paint, selling their work at the most perfect spot. Some also had the same amount of follow-age as me on social media. And it's wild because they make some pretty cool stuff they deserve A LOT more! But man... after getting active on social media again, it's HARD...
No matter how many hashtags or @'s you put up, feels like there's no growth...
But I learned that the process is pretty easy to reserve a spot at Emo Night. And affordable. Local. So I had that lightbulb over my head that night. Get stuff ready to sell. Hit up the club asking for a spot, and bring a box over there and start selling.
Even with a scattered brain like mine, sh*t, I could do this 😯! I can comfortably put myself out there, sell goofy art, and meet some awesome people.
I showed my support and purchased a set of mushroom earrings, and some ear cuffs with my boyfriend. I even showed off my snailfrogs and immediately the vendors smiled and went GASPPP CAN I HAVE ONE ?!
God, that felt so good 😂
Behold, my goal this year: have my first vending booth at Emo Night.
Closing up :)
So yeah that's my adventurous week. I feel super tired and sore right now, partially from the mosh, but it's the weekend I'm allowed to take a break. And breaks are important. Avoid that burn-out!
But within all this zombie-energy... I actually look forward to Monday 😂
Thanks all for reading this journal post! Hope you're proud of me :) and hope sharing this inspires you to keep trucking through. Be well, take care of yourselves, have a great day <3
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